


In another life, I might deserve you.

by miltoran



Category: EXOTERIC, Original Work
Genre: Actually they are requited but then Goddess happened, Apophis is the best tho, Apophis knows whats up, Cosmo my son, Cosmo-centric, F/M, HS AU, Hel made small apparance, Highschool AU - alternate universe, I breathe Thyde but Thycos runs in my veins, Implied fandoms, Lots of kissing, M/M, Sibling Banter, Unrequited Love, Wedding, kiss, lots of THYCOS kissing, this au supposed to be happy au but look how we ended up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-30
Updated: 2016-09-30
Packaged: 2018-08-18 15:52:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8167553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miltoran/pseuds/miltoran
Summary: Being the eldest means Cosmo have to let Goddess have what she wants, because she asks and because he loves her.
That also includes to let her marry the man he loves. Even if he doesn't want her to.





	

**Maybe in another life,**

**I deserve you.**

-x-

They say, being the eldest has its perks and things that younger brothers and sisters couldn’t take a guess.

They say, being the eldest are the hardest, and yet, teaches them about the most important thing in life. Which is family.

They say, being the eldest have to take care about their family when their parents can’t.

They said that, and Cosmo takes it by heart.

Because he’s a big brother to his beloved younger sister.

-x-

It all started when he was a young boy, no older than 3 years old at that time, when he first met with his little sister.

His parents proudly shows her to him, after months of waiting and asking questions of ‘why is Mommy’s stomach big?’ or ‘When is the little sister coming?’. His parents have been patient of him, answering his questions every single time, and it just make him giddy of the thinking that he’ll have someone to play with.

And when he saw her, small, bundled with pink blanket, and brown curious pair eyes open, staring at him with endless wonder and innocence. Cheeks flushed like a cute thing she is, and chocolate brown tuft on the top of her head, much like his own, but is softer and prettier.

( _She’s the prettiest thing he ever saw._ )

“Hello, Goddess,” Cosmo says in soft tones as he touches her hand and kisses her cheek. Smiling as widely as a two years old could do. “You are very pretty. I’m Cosmo, I’m your big bro, now.

And I’ll protect you.”

( _He means it._ )

-x-

“ _Big bro Cosmo, can I have your chocolate, please?_ ”

“ _Of course! Here, and be careful with your clothes. Mother’s going to be mad if you stain them._ ”

-x-

As Cosmo grow up, he realizes that his sister is the most loveliest girl he ever met, and that her laughs are adorable, her smiles are prettiest, her eyes shone the brightest, and she have the best way of thinking, and he’s proud to be her brother.

She grow up understanding adults words way faster than him, and believe what she believes by her own belief, and even manages to convince people about it.

( _Meanwhile himself… not so much._ )

She’s the smartest of her class, from kindergarten to high school, and even after that. Became the Leader of the Society, Prim donna of the School, and the Queen of everything she wants. And Cosmo is there every time she needs him, and let her take everything he have. Even before she asked for it.

He wants to make her happy, and this is how he do it.

-x-

“ _Cosmo, can you buy me the cake from that famous bakery? The girls in my classes always talk about it, and I want to taste it._ ”

“ _Sure, Goddess. I’ll buy it for you._ ”

-x-

He knows that it’s not healthy.

He knows that Goddess is growing up as a Princess who thinks she can have everything she wants. That the world rotates for her, sun shines because of her, wind sings songs about her, and the stars are sparkling in imitating her beauty.

That she is way better than him in everything.

He knows, and he lets it. Turning blind eye in oblivious matters.

( _She is indeed, however. Way better than him in everything._ )

( _He knows that._ )

( _And that fact hurts him way more than he thought it would._ )

-x-

“ _Cosmo, can you help me look for a dress? It’s for the Prom. But I have Student Council’s things to take care about._ ”

“ _Don’t worry, Goddess. I’ll go get it covered for you._ ”

-x-

Cosmo knows he’s different than his sister. In any kind of thing one could think about.

She’s pretty while he’s plain looking, she’s smart while he barely could pass his tests, she’s loveable while people sometimes forgot about him, and she’s the best while he would be the fourth choice of anything everyone hopes for.

She lives by the meaning of her name. _Goddess_. Owner of everything. Creator of life. Ruler of anyone.

Meanwhile, Cosmo.

He’s just a cameo in his own story.

( _And with Goddess as the main star._ )

( _It have always been like that._ )

However, he, too, lives by his name. ‘Order’.

( ‘ _To be ordered’, perhaps is the most accurate thing to describe him._ )

-x-

Cosmo joins the most unthinkable club his parents could ever guess for. Even Goddess look stricken when he told them about his plans in their weekly dinner as a family. They think the life as a college student changes him inside and out, while actually, they only opens his mind and heart.

There are protests, at first. Then it turns into firm words, and cold shoulders. He was given threat by his own parents and disgust looks his sister throws at him. He was about to be kicked out of the House, if it’s not the fact that kicking him out will leave bad impressions of their family names to the society, and even the whole world.

And so, they half-heartily let him. With rules and conditions told to keep him in check.

Cosmo silently wonders, if deciding to join the LGBT+ Club as a support for his friends are bad enough, how would his family reacts when he came out to them?

They would probably hire a hitman to kill him. Killing him is better than kicking him out. It won’t taint their family’s name, after all.

( _They didn’t let him have what he wants._ )

( _They make him became a slave to make sure other people’s desires are fulfilled._ )

( _They made him Goddess’, the Golden Child of the House, perfection in every aspects, personal slave since he was a child._ )

( _And he lets it anyway. Because he loves his sister the most._ )

( … _or so he believes._ )

-x-

“ _Cosmo, can you…_

_…can you not come close to me in public? It’s shameful._ ”

“ _…don’t worry. I won’t come close to you if you don’t want me to, Goddess._ ”

-x-

In one of his way of his club’s meeting, Cosmo accidentally bumps into someone, and manages to drops everything he have in hand at that time.

“ _Sorry!_ ” He said, almost screaming and thus turns him into a babbling mess of apologizing child, but it all stop when he heard a such nice voice laughed at him, and helped him to gather his things.

“ _That’s okay,_ ” the handsome voice said, “ _are you okay? It seems you fall very hard._ ”

In one of his way of his club’s meeting, Cosmo met with Typhon.

In one of his way to his club’s meeting, Cosmo met with the first love of his life.

-x-

After that, they hang out a lot together. As friends, at first. But then somehow it changes without them even realizing it.

Cosmo learns about Typhon more every day. That he studies here in Music Major, and that he was in a band with his younger brother once. Typhon gave him a sample of their songs, and to be truth, Cosmo thought they are very nice.

He then learns about Typhon’s younger siblings better than the math class he took as a mistakes months ago. About the troublemaker Apophis who seem to always follows Typhon in anything he does, about the little sister Justicia who is hard on justice, especially to her brothers, and that even if they are not the happiest family, but they always protect each other.

He also notes how Typhon’s devilishly handsome face softens when he talks about his siblings.

( _He likes that look on Typhon’s face._ )

“ _What about you? Do you have any siblings?_ ” Typhon once asked. With a smile on his face, and a twinkle of curious light on his stormy gray eyes.

The question makes Cosmo think about his sister, Goddess, and things she said to him.

( _Especially the thing she said to him the last time they met._ )

( _No, no. He should forgave her for that._ )

( _That’s what big brothers do, right?_ )

( _His heart screams no, but he decides to ignore it._ )

“ _I have a little sister,_ ” Cosmo said with a soft smile on his face. A smile that he always shows whenever he talks about his sister, consciously or not. “ _She’s so pretty and best at everything she do. A better child than I am, I suppose. You should meet her sometime._ ”

( _He don’t want them to._ )

“ _Sure,_ ” Typhon laughs, poking Cosmo’s nose in such tender way that made him blush, “ _I will meet her if only you are there with me._ ”

The words made Cosmo smiled with a small tint of pain on his face, and he changes the subject.

-x-

Months after they first met, Cosmo found himself realizing he’s been in love with his best friend.

Months after they first met, Cosmo found himself with Typhon in his empty apartment. When they are alone, together. After watching a musical movie about a failed French Revolution.

Months after they first met, Cosmo found himself being kissed by Typhon.

“ _I’m sorry,_ ” Typhon said at once after they are separated. “ _I shouldn’t done that. I’m so sorry._ ”

Cosmo shuts Typhon with another kiss of his own.

-x-

They don’t date, even if they want to.

They don’t date, despites the soft smiles and kisses and touches they share together.

They don’t date, after countless of words of love told to one and other.

They don’t date, and that’s where Cosmo’s mistakes starts.

-x-

“ _Cosmo, who is that guy?_ ”

“ _He’s- It’s- uh. His name is Typhon._ ”

“ _He’s cute._

_Cosmo, I want him to be mine._ ”

“ _…okay, Goddess._ ”

-x-

They don’t talk after that. No matter how Cosmo wants to run to Typhon, to kiss him senseless, to tell him how much he loves him, how he wants to be with him forever and ever, how he wants them to be _together_ , how he’s sorry for everything he had said, and how he don’t hope Typhon to forgave him.

They don’t. Or, at least, Cosmo tried not to.

He had just done the worst thing in his life, after all. No matter how his heart and mind screams at him. About how stupid he is, and about how he should stand up from his sister.

But he can’t.

He don’t want to.

After all, he loves his sister.

-x-

“ _Darling, it seems that Goddess have been quiet lately._ ” His mother once said, after Goddess run sulking to her room, to his Father who sat at the head of the table. Because it’s been days since she said she wanted Typhon, and she still haven’t got him. He knows that she’s upset.

Cosmo really loves his sister, he really do.

If she asked him to kill himself, he would do it gladly.

But this?

Death is way better than this.

And Cosmo, who have been quiet all evening, took a shuddering breath and forced himself to smile to his parents as he talk about his ideas in trembling voices.

“ _Mother, how about we let her marry? I know someone who will fit her taste._ ”

-x-

The wedding, by far, are the most hated things Cosmo ever come with.

Seeing his loved ones marry each other should makes him happy. But it makes him wanting to die.

He stood in the back of the room, leaning really close to the wall as he took a sip of his wine.

( _Bitter. Like how Typhon knows he likes it_. )

( _His heart aches when he remembered it_. )

“ _How do you do?_ ” A familiar voice from his right make Cosmo almost jumped out of his skin. He turns at side, and stare into a familiar stormy grey eyes but with a hint of bright green on their eyes. Cosmo smiled at Apophis before answering,

“ _The wedding is nice, the wine is tasty, the food are delicious. What can I say more?_ ” It’s a lie, of course. He didn’t enjoy them for a bit.

He saw Apophis shrugged. The same way Typhon did whenever he’s uncomfortable, he notices. It seems like the family DNA’s are very strong.

“ _I meant how are you feeling, Cosmo. You might fool those rich bastards out here, but you ain’t fooling me. Why does your sister gets to marry him, anyway? She’s a bitch._ ”

In any other way, in any other day, Cosmo would be furious when he hears Apophis calling his sister a- a- an animal. But for now, he would careless.

He can’t even feel himself breathing, how could he retorts back if he’s like this?

“ _…I suggested it._ ” Confess Cosmo with a pained smile, as his brown eyes stares at the wine glass on his own hand, “ _I suggested it to my parents, Apophis. My sister have been moody for days after she met Typhon, and fell in love with him._ ” His voice cracked, and tears are forming in his eyes.

He can’t.

He have to.

For his sister.

“ _…I let my sister wed the love of my life because she wants to._ ”

 

-x-

He didn’t remember what happened, but somehow Apophis managed to made him drunk in his sister’s wedding night. Cosmo dreams of seeing Typhon beside him, and spend one of those another night that they spend with love and endless wonder. Cosmo fall asleep with a smile, and soft body beside him.

He woke up with a girl beside him, with face held familiarity of Typhon.

( _He had made love with a girl he thought was Typhon._ )

Sorry couldn’t even fix this. He knows that.

He never met the girl, nor any of them anymore.

He flew to Paris by the first flight in the morning next day. Like a damn coward he is.

( _Coward, any day._ And he’s ashamed of that. )

-x-

When he come back from Paris, years after his sister’s marriages, he learns that she is now became a Principal of a Private High School named Exoteric. He couldn’t get more proud of her. His little sister, became a leader. Why couldn’t he be proud?

But then he learns that her marriages with Typhon is a bust, because they have private competition, and because Typhon apparently won’t give her what she wants, like how Cosmo always did. And because Goddess is too bossy, unlike Cosmo who lets Typhon do what he wants and happy with it.

Cosmo, who have been gone away for years, learns that he had destroys his sister’s marriages even if he wasn’t there most of the time.

( _He knows he should be ashamed._ )

( _But somehow, he felt great. He felt happy after learning that._ )

But that wasn’t the only surprise he had.

“ _My child?_ ” Cosmo wonders out loud, mouth gaping widely as he stare at the girl in front of him. So pure, so perfect, so _beautiful_. She couldn’t be his daughter. She can’t.

A messed up person like him couldn’t have such beauty as a child.

But fate says otherwise.

“ _Hello, Cosmo._ ” His child, her name is _Hel_ , greeted him with a shy smile because she doesn’t know him yet. He knows by the time she learned things about him, about _that_ thing he hides from everyone but Typhon and Apophis, he knows that she will hate him. Like anyone elses.

He won’t forgive himself from tainting such innocent child.

“ _Hello,_ ” Cosmo breathlessly greeted back. “ _Hello. Hi. Aren’t you beautiful?_ ”

-x-

He had hoped that this day would never came. Or maybe he did, years ago, before that wedding. Or maybe he still does hoping this day would come, day by day, every night he spend alone in Paris, dreaming of someone he could never reach.

He might had hoped that he would met with Typhon again.

( _Silently yearning that he can hold the man again. To kiss him. To tell him that Cosmo loves him, from then and by now, forever and always._ )

( _But he knew he can’t._ )

“ _Why did you leave?_ ” Typhon asks with quiet voice, despites the fact that they are alone together in the living room of Cosmo’s apartment. Goddess was away, and Typhon took him by surprise for visiting him.

( _Just like that day where they share their first kiss._ )

( _…he should forget about that soon._ )

“ _Because—_ “ Cosmo breathes, and clenched his fist. “ _—because I can’t. See you with her. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t feel this… feelings._ ”

It was quiet for a moment, after Cosmo heard a sharp breath that Typhon took beside him. He felt the other man moves, before calling him softly. “ _Cosmo…_ ”

He sat still. Unmoving.

“ _…look at me._ ”

He did.

Cosmo moves slightly from where he sat, to take a look at the tall man beside him.

He didn’t expect Typhon to lean close to him, and placed a small kiss on his lips.

It was wrong, he knew. He shouldn’t do this. Typhon have a wife, which is _his_ sister, and Cosmo have a damn _child_. They have their own lives to live about. They shouldn’t do this.

But tears are formed in Cosmo’s eyes, and he consciously follows Typhon’s face when the other man finished placing a kiss on his lips, and placed another kiss where Typhon began to kiss back. Like the old times. Like how he always yearn. Like how he remembered.

Like how he hopes it would last an eternity.

-x-

“ _We shouldn’t do this,_ ” Cosmo said to Typhon after a glorious night they share together after years of longing. He murmured to Typhon’s bare chest, as he closes his eyes. “ _I don’t want to hurt myself any more than this. Please._ ”

“ _I can fill a divorce for you._ ” Typhon said back, placing a kiss on the top of Cosmo’s head, “ _I have always loves you, Cosmo. I always have._ ” But Cosmo only shook his head, and glad that he had hides his face. He didn’t want Typhon to see him crying in this state.

“ _Don’t_ ,” he softly said. “ _Let me get hurt. I will be fine. But please, not my sister._

_If you ever loved me, please don’t hurt her._ ”

And he let go.

-x-

Being an elder brother means he have to lose things, in meaning to give something to his younger siblings. Cosmo knows that.

He had given Goddess everything. Including the love of his life.

He’d rather be hurt, and saw his sister happy, rather than seeing her sad, and his dreams are fulfilled.

After all, he had promised her that he would protect her, hadn’t he?

End.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! First ever Exoteric fanfic published in any other places aside of the forum itself. This is AU, so please don't get confused. I had lots of fun writing this.


End file.
